Wednesday, 24 November 2010

Numb Vocation

It's a cold, cruel November morning...late be precise. The snow didn't fall had been expected...but the cars were covered in frost in the street outside my window. This was no ordinary day for me to return to I had said goodbye to my beloved wife just two days prior. The weeks leading up to her funeral had been filled with planning, organising and just coasting along on auto-pilot really. There had been a certainty that she was gone...but there had also been much uncertainty about the future and about what was coming next. Since the cremation service there has been a numbness in my heart and a hole in my mind. It's like I've had part of my mind removed. So...back to first proper shave since 30th October...when she was taken into hospital..where she died four days later on the 4th November. I ironed a silence. Next to the iron I found a huge unopened bottle of Lactulose of Rio's last prescription items.
Mrs Rio Fraser 10-15 mls to be taken at night. It means nothing so many other reminders of Rio scattered around the house. A bunch of keys on the work-top...with her Ramones key-fob...keys not needed now. Her redundant cashpoint and debit cards...never to be used again. Her little black and white purse...with £3.75 in it.

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